[Movie] Marriage Story (2019)

This movie really helps me to think about the relationship and myself. I saw myself through Nicole of this movie. 

Is my identity, myself is reserved in the relationship?

Am a being respected by myself and by my partner?

I learned only through experience that if myself is lost in a relationship, that relationship is not healthy. 

Meaning, if I cannot raise my own voice and if I am always doing everything to satisfy my partner that is not very healthy. According to Nicole, this can be described as "I didnot belong to myself." & "I did't even know what my taste was because I was never asked to use it." 

For some reason, I was in a relationship where my taste was alwasy looked down, regarded as not worthy. In the movie, Nicole says "A bit of Earth that is yours." Reflecting this line of word to myself, there was no "bit of Earth that's mine." 

I regret that I did not fight for myself. However, because of that experience, I learned that I need to have a courage to speak up for myself and avoiding conflict in any relationship is not always good. I am not saying that conflict or flight is good but only emphasizing that healthy and productive conflict and fights, arguments are necessary in a relationship. 

After watching this movie, I try to meditate and have conversation with myself in order to know about my true self. I realized that I never look after myself and that is why I am always so focused on satisfying other rather than myself. Yes you need a good balance of yourself and your partner. And in order to find that good balance betwee me and the world (other people), I will first take a look at myself and get to know myself better.

(Image downloaded from https://wallpaperaccess.com/marriage-story#google_vignette)